Has your ship reached the harbor??

Listen To Ur SoUL----

09:26 am,Thursday-

Ad-mist the yellowish florescent lights of my so called Indian infra giants's  office,I have piles of equipment manuals to be covered , XAT score after re-evaluation screwed me,I dont care what I am wearing to office,today I am wearing a class 11th chooridaar-salwaar suit which adorned my shelf for so many long years and today I picked it up.The worst beep of the desk phones kills my brain cells and I rush to the cafeteria to have Chai worth rupees 8/=,

Being a girl I am not supposed to smoke,but certainly I go the smoke zone(the only open area) of the 4th floor (the entire 4th floor is my office)(and twice i smoked),I see South Indian ladies wearing the garland in the hair,giggling and enjoying Idlis with Sambhar and coconut chutney.

I feel lost,I feel lost in my workstation number A1-17.The office boy,a young 18 year old fellow comes and asks me-"Do you need anything madam" ?? I smile at him and say no.The innocence in his eyes and the"Chandan Tilak" on his forehead is a reason for me to feel little good in this place where people are always ready to stab you at the back.

Its not that I am cribbing or complaining,not at all!!I am one of those many youngsters who come to Bangalore right after completing their engineering and land up in getting some of the bestest jobs in India.I get paid for what i do,I get paid decently to match and fulfill my basic needs.

Parents are also happy and so are friends. Overall,life is going on.

But after all this when I look up at the ceiling of my office,I lose myself completely.My eyes are transfixed at a point and I feel I am Nowhere.

My ship hasn't reached the harbor.Working on SAP screens and Excel sheets.This is NOT what I wanted to do in my life.Never.

I may have got the highest rating in my mid-term review,I may have scored highest marks in my college in 3 or 4 core subjects of Mechanical Engineering.But that doesn't mean I am happy in what I am doing.

May be that my performing decently in whatever I do is just a quality that I am Diligent.

So many of us, in fact my own friends are into IT sector because 5-6 years back getting into TCS and Infy was considered  as a sign  of Excellence. Thats why parents of our generation insisted us to take up engineering so that Our future is secure.

And now when my friends are working all of them have just one aim in life to find the right guy,get settled and get married!!

If they are into development of software and it gives them money to buy a sexy one piece dress,its enough for them!!May be they bang their heads in office,curse their bosses but the moment they are out of the office they forget the pain.But I have a sincere problem in me.I am unable to find REDEMPTION!!

I tried love,it failed,it failed badly.And I am happy it failed.Because my horizon expanded.i am thinking BIG !! I believe everything happens for a reason.And it gave me a reason to think!!My though process has evolved.Since past one year I met some fabulous people,I met some bastards.But the point is that I came across people,people of varied interests which has helped me in digging out What I actually want from my life.

Its only after a lot of pain,hurt and struggle in my life,I have become like this.My clarity is clearer.My dreams are Crystal Clear.

The only thing why I am discussing all this is We should not try to reach at a place where destiny takes us,because even the destiny asks us where do we want to go.Just like If you want to go to Kashmir or Rajasthan and you book the ticket.And then whether you get snow or sand in the way is a matter of your choice.But at least you will be happy!! You wont play in sand when you wanted snow.I know it might be a lame example but if you think little deep you will see I am making sense.

Sailing your ship according to the direction of winds is weakness.At least one should try to take the ship to his/her favorite beach.I wish to go to Goa and i end up in Hawaii....it wont make me calm!!

I will be pacified only and only when I reach Goa,inspite of the fact that Hawaii was much better.

I know what I want to do and for each of us knowing that is Very Important !!

If you wanted to become a mechanical engineer,play with machines and suddenly you are doing coding which are not even liking,then hold on....there is no point in regretting,You can still work in a garage and satisfy your love for machines !!

As far as i am concerned I love to write,i love communicating,it may or may not reach millions,it may or may not become "5 point some one" and sell like hot cakes.But definitely it helps me my satisfying my soul.

And that is why the name of my blog is-"Redemption and Solitude" because my blog is my haven and my writing is the food for my soul.

Amen!!