Crossroad No- "n"- Love V/S Fear

Being 30, has opened up so many dimensions in terms of the way I think. The real life experiences have been hard hitting and I have often found myself at crossroads of emotions and practicality.

One such Crossroad which I have faced is Love V/S Fear.

I have been fearful of things I have loved,I have loved things which I have been fearful of. 

Anyone who knows me closely, knows I am fearful of Dogs, so much so that, I avoid going to morning walks or on streets if there is a slightest probability of them hovering around. And, God forbid if some one is walking along with me on the street, and there is a dog around, I end up holding their wrist so tight, that it leaves a red mark for at least ten minutes. Crazy right? Who on Earth is so scared of Dogs? You might well call it a Phobia.

Probably, God sent Brownie to feel the power of Unconditional love.

Brownie, is a female street Dog, who has had two heat cycles since the time we have shifted to Ludhiana. Since Punjab faces extreme cold, we started letting her snuggle under the small space of the stairs and provided old rugs for her to feel comfortable while she was delivering.

Before Brownie entered my life, I was fearful.

My Papa is stronger and very gentle. He is the one who started giving her biscuits casually. I would initially just peep and see how she relished the biscuits. Slowly and steadily it became a daily habit for her and she would come at the same time daily on our door. She sits quietly and waits for one of us to come and give her biscuits. Unlike other dogs, is an introvert and barks only when necessary. The last time I saw her barking was at her own child, because he wouldn't just listen to her.

As I started giving her biscuits, I looked into her eyes. Brown, Beautiful and so loving. One look at her and it melts my fear. So much so that, I am not scared of Dogs as much as I used to be before her entry into my life. She is Gorgeous. I am still not there yet, where I can pick her in my lap, or hug her. But we do have a connection. The way she looks at me is a moment of unconditional love for me. 

It never made sense to me why people would get offended if someone called their pets as "dogs" or "cats". Now, I know.

But let me take a moment to express that mine and Brownie's connection was Organic. It developed slowly. Even though she is not our pet, she just has the freedom to come and happily wag her tail anytime in our veranda. And when she scratches the "Jaali Ka Darwaaza" with her sharp claws, I know she is calling for ME. Being WANTED is ecstatic.

I am not fearful of her. Because I love her. With Purity and Without Doubts.

Few lines dedicated to my Brownie, before I close this post:

Rishton ki Rekhayein Kheenche, Tu hi Boye Tu Hi Seenche,

Tu Hi Jaane, Kis Ke Bhaagya, mein kya Likhna hai Rabba..

Kiss Bandhan mein Baandh Dia re, Mann ye mera Adheera..

(Veera Title Track)